Austin’s Friday the 13th Party (Shit was bad luck)
This party sucked! First I shotgunned 6 peebers in the first hour and didn’t even get that drunk. Bad Luck. Then I got into a really deep conversation about cameras and lenses with a totally hot girl, mentioned how I’d like to explore the line between art and pornography, then watched her walk away. Didn’t make out with her. Bad Luck! Then I watched this weird dude named Eddie help a girl I’d just met a week ago tape up her nipples so that she could flash them around the party. Didn’t make out with either of them. Waaaay bad luck.
Then I had a conversation with a ridiculously gorgeous woman about how she really wanted to get caught making out with someone that night. I offered myself up as just the guy to help her create the scandal. Then in an effort to reassure her that this was something that I was really into, I told her that if there were levels of how much I wanted to make out with someone she would be in the level just below the top level. I explained that the top level was for completely unattainable celebrities like Kristen Bell or Lizzy Caplan. She liked Lizzy Caplan too so we high fived on that one. Then you know what happened? We DIDN’T make out. The worst luck ever.
Also I didn’t get many good pictures on account of how drunk I got from shotgunning those six beers. Bad Luck. Got into an argument about Hudson Hawk that I think I lost. (Great Movie) Bad Luck. Oh and I found out from a cute stripey artsy girl in glasses that I don’t know shit about printmaking craftsmanship. Bad Luck. Then the cops showed up. Bad Luck. Then Eddie didn’t bring me anything back from Steak N Shake. Bad Luck. Then when I got home I lost my phone for like a minute because it was in my other pocket. BAD LUCK. OH OH OH OH! And Oh! I also got mistaken for Oreo Jones, AGAIN! Bad luck.
So when you look at these pictures, just think about the miserable time I was having. Sure, everyone IN the pictures seems to be having a good time. But rest assured I was frowning on the other side of the camera. And when I’m smiling or at least looking content in the pictures that I’m in, just know that that is because I was having a pretty good time at the party because it was fun. Click on this picture of Austin all smug because he made me have bad luck at his party to see the gallery.