The 2011 Indianapolis 500 Mile Race, kind of.

Ok, I’m from Indianapolis. At this point I’ve spent around 61% of my life living here. But I’m from the Eastside and my family doesn’t like big crowded sporting events. So until this year I had never been to the Indianapolis 500. It was an amazing experience that almost didn’t happen.

I woke up at 8:15 on Sunday May 29th. My friend Tobi’s brother Doug had told me to get to his house near the track by 8 to get a good parking spot and to avoid the traffic. I’d gone to the Fast Friday practice the week before and been kind of bored by it. I’d also spent the whole day previous to the race at Doug’s place and gone to the party on Georgetown the night before. At 8:15AM I decided that I didn’t need to go to the race.

Sure, I had already bought a $30 ticket but I’ve wasted $30 before. And my favorite Dj Team, A Squared, had given me VIP passes to the Snake Pit, which was probably going to be fun and full of photo opportunities. And yes, this would be a total bitch/pussy move. But, I just did not feel like sitting in traffic and paying for parking, and getting lost in crowds and blah blah blah. I decided to write a few blog posts instead.

Then at 10 or so I decided to go get breakfast at Taco Bell. Once I got in my car I made a command decision. I would drive toward the track. If I got into traffic or couldn’t find a spot I could abort at any time. I ended up parking for free on the street just a little more than a mile away from the track. I was pretty pleased with myself. I got to the track just as the Stealth Bomber flew over for the Star-Spangled Banner. That airplane is fucking amazing.

Of course I decided to park a mile away from the┬ásouth end of the track and the snake pit was at the north end. That more than doubled my walking distance but I felt pretty good having just eaten my Taco Bell breakfast. I got to the Snake Pit and got my first free beer of the day, courtesy of Kyle. Through the next several hours I took a bunch of pictures and had many many more free beers borrowed, stolen, or traded for services from various sources. I took many pictures. I found it odd that I was at the race, but I couldn’t see the race and could only barely hear the race as the cars went into turn 3. Despite this fact, I had the best time of my life.

Most of the pictures in this gallery are from the Snake Pit, so I won’t go into detail about my time there. I’ll just let you look at them and figure out what it was like on your own. Also I don’t remember much about what went on there. I didn’t drink any water. Just beer. God, I’m dumb.

The Race ended and security immediately started kicking us out. My walk to the other end of the track is a blur. I knew I was kind of drunk and didn’t want to walk 2 miles then drive so I walked a mile in the opposite direction to Doug’s house. Once there I started drinking water to hydrate myself. I started felling dizzy. I felt like I was gong to pass out. I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything either. I needed food. I told Tobi that I needed protein. She handed me two sticks of jalapeno string cheese. Though not my first choice I was convinced that I would die if I didn’t eat them so I get it a shot. One bite later I was re-introduced to an old friend of mine. My Taco Bell Breakfast.

Normally I pride myself on getting to the bathroom in times of vomit. Not this time. My stomach snuck up on me. Pretty brutal, but as is almost always the case, I felt fit as a fiddle afterwards. It wasn’t even too had to clean up since it was mostly water. Yeah, that vomit put me right up on top of the world. And getting sick was the perfect excuse to demand a ride to my car from a dude I didn’t know. Yes it was shaping up to be the perfect experience until I got to my car and discovered my keys to be missing. I got a ride back to Doug’s.

When I got there I made another grizzly discovery. I walked in on Tobi finishing the super shitty job that I had done cleaning my puke. I didn’t realize that I was doing a super shitty job when I did it, but in retrospect it was an absolutely unacceptable performance.

Anyway, long story short (too late), my mom had to drive back from Illinois to bring me my spare key and I finally got home. There were definitely a few bumps on the road, but all in all, it was one of the greatest days of my life. I have to thank A Squared, and Tobi and her whole family, and alcohol and Taco Bell and Indianapolis Motor Speedway (who eventually got me my keys back) for all the great memories. I can’t wait to see who’s floor I puke on in 2012!

To see the gallery, just click on this picture to the right of a couple I met at Doug’s who said they’ve been going to the race for a long time.