So Indianapolis just hosted the Super Bowl, and I don’t know if you keep up with all the sports blogs, but it is already being labeled as “The Best Super Bowl Party City Ever”. We nailed it. I’m so proud. The only way I could feel any better about last weekend would be if I got to makeout with a pretty girl and leave lipstick on several other people and things.  Oh Shit! I did that! I’m super fucking excited! The only way I could feel EVEN BETTER would be if I could somehow make an animation of the dude who’s abs I kissed at Room 929.

Holy living Fuck! I did that too!

Oh the ecstasy! The only way that this could get even better would be if I got to be on Last Night’s Party.com as well!

Jesus Horatio Christ and all the saints in His Christendom! I totally did that shit too! Wow. Best Super Bowl Ever.

Here is another animated gif of Leslie getting all ballet on my ass.

It’s been a long time since I posted here. I’m going to blame grad school for that. Unfortunately Grad School has poisoned my art practice. Hopefully it functions as a kind of chemotherapy for my art practice where the stronger healthier parts of my art practice grow back faster making my art practice stronger in the end. Still too early to tell…

At any rate, I made this thing tonight and I wanted to show it to you. So here it is. Click on this picture of me with my shirt off to see it.

Well folks, this is it. On thursday I move to Chicago. At the end of the month I start the MFA program at SAIC. Last tuesday was my last Let Go as an Indianapolis resident. Gun to my head, I’d have to call the occasion bittersweet. It was hard to really have fun at this Let Go. It’s been hard to have fun at anything here for the last few months since I decided to leave Indianapolis. Hanging with all you wonderful people felt like dating a dying girl. That’s probably why I haven’t posted in this blog for so long. *sigh* I’m gonna miss you guys. But hey! Let’s stop hanging around with Deborah Downer and start partying with Geoffrey Goodtimes! This was actually the most eventful and nudity-filled Let Go I’ve ever been a part of so lets get into it.

I began this Let Go with a safety decision. I my friend Austin was kind enough to pick me up at home so that I wouldn’t even think about driving home. This freed me to consume alcohol at my leisure with no thought of consequences beyond emergency rooms and stomach pumps. I never quite got to that level but I did alright for myself in the drinking department.

I spent the early portion of the evening talking to a couple of comely lasses by the names of Lauren and Sara. Lauren is my really real friend (she’s been to my house) and she was looking absolutely ravishing in green American Apparel. Sara and I barely know each other but I feel like if my days weren’t numbered we might have possibly become really real friends. I guess we’ll never know.

Due to all the drinking in the early portion of the evening, I don’t quite remember the middle portion of the evening. I know that handsome blonde drummer from Vacation Club pantomimed sucking a dude’s dick through the use of a glow stick and some very convincing facial expressions. I also kind of recall being scared and excited at the same time that I was going to end up making out with a dude as a joke. That didn’t happen though. At some point Boot and Amy and Xander showed up. I remember Sammie Two-Drinks trying to shove a Budweiser bottle down Sessicka Dunn’s throat. That was pretty cool, and I didn’t even have to give a credit card number and agree to recurring payments. I talked to Anna about a shoot that will probably never happen. I believe I had a good time in the middle part of the evening but don’t quote me on that.

Unfortunately, as the middle part of the evening came to a close I began to think about the fact that I was leaving. I also began to think about other things that make me sad that I’ll leave out of this particular post as to not bring everybody down.  Sufficed to say that I was crestfallen, perhaps even a little despondent. I walked outside alone and began taking pictures of the wall and the ground. That’s when Doug and Merrel approached me. I’m not sure what it is that started the conversation. I’m not sure who suggested it. I can’t remember how it even came up, but when our conversation finished we walked back into the alley and had ourselves a little nude photo shoot. It was glorious. They were gorgeous, Doug with his hair and Merrel with her carved from marble physique.  After that I wasn’t so crestfallen anymore. I was downright giddy. So thanks guys. You two made my night.

After the dirtiness in the alley I headed back inside. I followed my friend Ransome, Dave, and Katie to their car hooping for more nudity but instead got some fake girl on girl action. I guess that was pretty cool, but I really was in the mood for more nudity. It was getting late so I went in to say bye to Annie and Andy. They told me that it was their 4th Anniversary. If I’m not mistaken the traditional gift for a 4th Anniversary is public nudity pictures so I showed them some on the back of my camera. Then I took a picture of them. I hold A Squared responsible for almost every good time I ever had in this city. If it weren’t for them I probably wouldn’t miss Indianapolis so much. So Thanks guys. You two made my 9 months. And thanks to everybody else I ever met in Indianapolis too. You were all great. Maybe I’ll see you in the future. Until then, just click this super cute picture to the right to see the rest of the photos. Enjoy!

So friday was a little bit of a downer. I let some people peer pressure me into paying $25 to see a show that I didn’t want to see. That set me on a downward spiral of being angry with myself. I left the show early and went home sad. The next day I awoke to find that, contrary to what I had believed to be true, I had to go take pictures at the Gay Pride event downtown. I was in no mood to do so, but I picked myself up, dusted myself off and took some pretty mediocre pictures. Click this link if you want to see. I don’t recommend it though.

Anyway, I left Pride feeling a little bit like a failure. I opened my trunk to deposit my camera and saw the abovepicture of Nikki Lipstick that I’d printed out staring back at me.

I immediately drove to Broad Ripple and got a tattoo of it. And I must say, I’m feeling much better now.

Who is Nikki Lipstick you may ask? She’s a delightful you lady that makes clothes and pasties and sells them online. I follow her blog. I saw that picture and it just clicked that it would make a cool tattoo. Today I sent her this message on tumbler:

It’s really great how so many people like you on the internet. But if could offer some good, albeit unsolicited advice, don’t let it go to your head. Hubris is the enemy of us all. That being said, I got a tattoo of you yesterday.

It was accompanied by a link to a picture of the tattoo. She responded with:

I really don’t even think of it as people liking me, I genuinly enjoy people and making them smile!

I don’t think I have that bone in my body or ability to have that happen , I promise babe! You are incredibly and maybe the perfect kind of crazy!

This is incredible and there are no words to even thank you ! I wish you all kinds of amazing things in life, and if you ever need anything you forever have a friend in me!

<3 Literally so amazing wow, this is amazing! I want to give you a hug and kiss on the cheek!!!!!

FOREVER THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU <3333333

I LOVE YOUUUUUUU!!!!

Today. Today has been a good day.

Ok, I’m from Indianapolis. At this point I’ve spent around 61% of my life living here. But I’m from the Eastside and my family doesn’t like big crowded sporting events. So until this year I had never been to the Indianapolis 500. It was an amazing experience that almost didn’t happen.

I woke up at 8:15 on Sunday May 29th. My friend Tobi’s brother Doug had told me to get to his house near the track by 8 to get a good parking spot and to avoid the traffic. I’d gone to the Fast Friday practice the week before and been kind of bored by it. I’d also spent the whole day previous to the race at Doug’s place and gone to the party on Georgetown the night before. At 8:15AM I decided that I didn’t need to go to the race.

Sure, I had already bought a $30 ticket but I’ve wasted $30 before. And my favorite Dj Team, A Squared, had given me VIP passes to the Snake Pit, which was probably going to be fun and full of photo opportunities. And yes, this would be a total bitch/pussy move. But, I just did not feel like sitting in traffic and paying for parking, and getting lost in crowds and blah blah blah. I decided to write a few blog posts instead.

Then at 10 or so I decided to go get breakfast at Taco Bell. Once I got in my car I made a command decision. I would drive toward the track. If I got into traffic or couldn’t find a spot I could abort at any time. I ended up parking for free on the street just a little more than a mile away from the track. I was pretty pleased with myself. I got to the track just as the Stealth Bomber flew over for the Star-Spangled Banner. That airplane is fucking amazing.

Of course I decided to park a mile away from the south end of the track and the snake pit was at the north end. That more than doubled my walking distance but I felt pretty good having just eaten my Taco Bell breakfast. I got to the Snake Pit and got my first free beer of the day, courtesy of Kyle. Through the next several hours I took a bunch of pictures and had many many more free beers borrowed, stolen, or traded for services from various sources. I took many pictures. I found it odd that I was at the race, but I couldn’t see the race and could only barely hear the race as the cars went into turn 3. Despite this fact, I had the best time of my life.

Most of the pictures in this gallery are from the Snake Pit, so I won’t go into detail about my time there. I’ll just let you look at them and figure out what it was like on your own. Also I don’t remember much about what went on there. I didn’t drink any water. Just beer. God, I’m dumb.

The Race ended and security immediately started kicking us out. My walk to the other end of the track is a blur. I knew I was kind of drunk and didn’t want to walk 2 miles then drive so I walked a mile in the opposite direction to Doug’s house. Once there I started drinking water to hydrate myself. I started felling dizzy. I felt like I was gong to pass out. I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything either. I needed food. I told Tobi that I needed protein. She handed me two sticks of jalapeno string cheese. Though not my first choice I was convinced that I would die if I didn’t eat them so I get it a shot. One bite later I was re-introduced to an old friend of mine. My Taco Bell Breakfast.

Normally I pride myself on getting to the bathroom in times of vomit. Not this time. My stomach snuck up on me. Pretty brutal, but as is almost always the case, I felt fit as a fiddle afterwards. It wasn’t even too had to clean up since it was mostly water. Yeah, that vomit put me right up on top of the world. And getting sick was the perfect excuse to demand a ride to my car from a dude I didn’t know. Yes it was shaping up to be the perfect experience until I got to my car and discovered my keys to be missing. I got a ride back to Doug’s.

When I got there I made another grizzly discovery. I walked in on Tobi finishing the super shitty job that I had done cleaning my puke. I didn’t realize that I was doing a super shitty job when I did it, but in retrospect it was an absolutely unacceptable performance.

Anyway, long story short (too late), my mom had to drive back from Illinois to bring me my spare key and I finally got home. There were definitely a few bumps on the road, but all in all, it was one of the greatest days of my life. I have to thank A Squared, and Tobi and her whole family, and alcohol and Taco Bell and Indianapolis Motor Speedway (who eventually got me my keys back) for all the great memories. I can’t wait to see who’s floor I puke on in 2012!

To see the gallery, just click on this picture to the right of a couple I met at Doug’s who said they’ve been going to the race for a long time.

Apparently, the night before the Indianapolis 500 there is this crazy party on Georgetown. Girls are showing their titties left and right is the legend. I decided to check it out. I spent all day with my friend Tobi and her brother Doug and his wife Gerri at Doug and Gerri’s house just a mile from the track. I didn’t take any pictures during the day because I was feeling out the situation. By the time night rolled around it felt right. Here are 15 of those images.

1. The pie this man is dishing out was made by a girl so drunk that she dropped her cell phone in the porta-potty. If I ever do that then that phone is just gone. I don’t want it. But some dude got it out with a post hole digger and she rinsed it off and let it dry on a paper towel. It was still there the next day. No idea how that will end.

2. This is just one of the intermittent fireworks that were going off though the evening.

3. One dude brought a wagon full of Jello Shots and Rummy Worms (Gummi Worms soaked in rum overnight)

4. Dude in a Mullet wig.

5.Gerri is pretty.

6. This was this guys first 500 so they called him The Rookie. It was my first 500 too. They just called me Jed.

7. This is the Rookie and maybe his brother? I don’t know. I got introduced to like a billion people. I really like these dudes but I have no idea what their names are.

8. This is Tony. The next day he was so drunk he could barely stand. But he sure could rollerblade.

9. Tobi Didn’t stop texting all weekend. She never answered one of my texts.

10. This is a Repsol CBR stopped in traffic.

11. This is Chad talking shit to the people on the Repsol CBR stopped in traffic. Seconds later Chad’s pants were falling off and het set his beer on a truck to pull them up. I took his beer off the truck and the guys in the truck thought I’d stolen a beer. They were a little mad. But I defused the situation like a motherfucking boss. Explain and apologize. Poof. No beef. (Notice that Chad is wearing a shirt that has an outline of the Chad the African Nation that reads “Chad is Rad”)

12. This is a dude give an old old woman Mardi Gras beads. I guess she showed here boobs to him. I guess he wanted her to.

13. These two just seemed like the perfect couple from behind.

14. Trust Jesus.

15. I don’t know what this cart is for. But it is undeniably awesome.

You might have noticed that there are no titties in this gallery. That’s because I didn’t see any. There were a few girls flashing them. But it was like a PG13 movie where just as they come out, a shadow obscures them or a passing child with a bunch of balloons walks by. It’s okay. I’ve seen them before. Man, they’re great.

So the other night there was this party. But it wasn’t really a party it was the creation of a work of art. And then the next day there was supposed to be a party celebrating the opening of the show in which this work of art based on the first party was to be displayed. Unfortunately someone didn’t tell somebody else something very important and details details details, the first party was cleaned up, negating the need for the second party which was to be called “After, Party”. Confused? Me too. But know this, unless you are one of the 15 or so people in the following gallery, you missed the most amazing time of your life. You could have danced around a room filled with balloons and glow accessories. You fucked up.

Go ahead and cry. You deserve it.

Before we get to the gallery I’d like to say that the thing that struck me as I watched a room full of adults playing with balloons is how much they seemed like children as they played. At one point I saw a dude tie a glow stick to the stem of a lung air filled balloon and throw it into the air. It immediately fell down. It wasn’t cool looking. And anyone who was actually thinking about what they were doing would know that it would just fall down and not be cool. But that wasn’t the mindset of these adults. We were all just looking for new fun things to do. It was an experiment in fun and nothing was off limits. It was genius. Click on the picture to the left of Michael Nannery calling forth the Balloon Swarm to see the whole gallery.

I have been lagging on my blogging duties. I apologize for that. You know how it is when you get behind. Anyways. Enough excuses. My fear of traffic has forced me to bitch out of going to the Indy 500 today so I’m gonna knock out some blog posts and try to get caught up. Alright! Here we go!

So last Saturday I went to the White Rabbit Cabaret to see Pop Lolita. I had been invited by both Amber Lynch and Audrey Mae. And as my mom always used to say, “When two fine ass fuckin bitches invite you to something, you better hitch up your fucking skirt and go make me some grandchildren.”

Full Disclosure: My Mom never said anything even remotely like this. I made it all up. She’d probably be mad if anyone ever thought she would. maybe I should take that out. Damn. The Delete key is stuck. I guess it’s staying in.

Anyways. I went to see Pop Lolita. They were playing with some band I never heard’a called The Embraceables. I crossed my fingers hoping that they’d be interesting to photograph. While waiting for the show to start I saw a girl walk in with shockingly blonde hair and a purple dress that was probably like a quarter size too small for her. She was also wearings some medium to full-on serious heels. I crossed my fingers extra hard hoping that she was in The Embraceables.

Pop Lolita went on and I shot them. I’d forgotten that The White Rabbit likes to light their stage as if they are trying to spot escaped convicts. So I had to deal with lighting issues. But I think I managed to capture their performance. But in the back of my mind life had become nothing more than a ticking clock counting down the seconds to me finding out if this girl, this purple vision, was in The Embraceables, thereby giving me reason to photograph her.

Apparently Jesus Christ just loooooves crossed fingers because she was indeed in The Embraceables. I wish I knew what the band sounded like. Because they looked fun all dressed in purple. But as anyone who’s read my blog before knows, when I’m shooting it is as if I become deaf. In a few brief moments of auditory awareness, I did take note that my favorite girl did seem to have a pretty awesome voice.

Somewhere in the middle of the show She came out from behind the keyboard to sing a song and in the middle she noticed me taking pictures. She approached me and got down on her knees to sing directly to me. When you look at the gallery you will notice this moment because I took like… a billion pictures of this happening. I had been in love with her before I was now in some new, deeper, truer love. Ultra-love? No. That’s not the word, but it’s the first word that springs to mind. In this moment I realized that her dress was not a quarter size too small at all. It was perfect. Everything was perfect. I weakly walked to the back of the room and told Brittney L Pritchard and Elizabeth Clare that I wanted to buy her a house. I understand the 30 year mortgage now because of this girl.

Yes it was a good show. Unfortunately I had to miss the last band in order to offer one of my oldest friends moral support in his mission to Dancers Showclub on the westside. There I met a pretty and talented young lady named Alice who had a totally sweet owl tattoo and some medium to full-on serious pole skills. As I slipped two dollars into her… outfit, I asked, “Do you know why I like you?”

“No. Why?”

“Because you’re pretty and talented.”

Later Alice told me she was looking for “a guy to let me take him in back so I can put my boobs on his face.”Ultra-love. Again. Click on this picture right here to the left of the girl in purple breaking my heart with pure awesomeness to see the gallery of the show. There are no pictures of the strip club. Bouncers hate art.

This party sucked! First I shotgunned 6 peebers in the first hour and didn’t even get that drunk. Bad Luck. Then I got into a really deep conversation about cameras and lenses with a totally hot girl, mentioned how I’d like to explore the line between art and pornography, then watched her walk away. Didn’t make out with her. Bad Luck! Then I watched this weird dude named Eddie help a girl I’d just met a week ago tape up her nipples so that she could flash them around the party. Didn’t make out with either of them. Waaaay bad luck.

Then I had a conversation with a ridiculously gorgeous woman about how she really wanted to get caught making out with someone that night. I offered myself up as just the guy to help her create the scandal. Then in an effort to reassure her that this was something that I was really into, I told her that if there were levels of how much I wanted to make out with someone she would be in the level just below the top level. I explained that the top level was for completely unattainable celebrities like Kristen Bell or Lizzy Caplan. She liked Lizzy Caplan too so we high fived on that one. Then you know what happened? We DIDN’T make out. The worst luck ever.

Also I didn’t get many good pictures on account of how drunk I got from shotgunning those six beers. Bad Luck. Got into an argument about Hudson Hawk that I think I lost. (Great Movie) Bad Luck. Oh and I found out from a cute stripey artsy girl in glasses that I don’t know shit about printmaking craftsmanship. Bad Luck. Then the cops showed up. Bad Luck. Then Eddie didn’t bring me anything back from Steak N Shake. Bad Luck. Then when I got home I lost my phone for like a minute because it was in my other pocket. BAD LUCK. OH OH OH OH! And Oh! I also got mistaken for Oreo Jones, AGAIN! Bad luck.

So when you look at these pictures, just think about the miserable time I was having. Sure, everyone IN the pictures seems to be having a good time. But rest assured I was frowning on the other side of the camera. And when I’m smiling or at least looking content in the pictures that I’m in, just know that that is because I was having a pretty good time at the party because it was fun. Click on this picture of Austin all smug because he made me have bad luck at his party to see the gallery.